1. What Data We Collect
None. Absolutely none. We are a static website hosted on Neocities. We don't have a database. We don't have a backend. We barely have a frontend. If you told us your name right now, we would have nowhere to put it. We'd have to write it on a napkin, and we don't have any napkins either.
Technically: this site sets no cookies, runs no analytics, collects no form data, and stores no personal information of any kind. Neocities may collect server logs (IP addresses, timestamps) as part of their hosting. See Neocities' own privacy policy for details.
2. Cookies
We don't use cookies. We don't know how to make cookies. If we did know how to make cookies, we would eat them ourselves and not share them with your browser. Your browser can't even taste cookies. It's a browser.
This site sets zero first-party or third-party cookies. Google Fonts is loaded via external CSS import, which may involve Google's standard request logging.
3. Third-Party Services
We use Google Fonts because we wanted the text to look nice. Google now knows you visited a website that uses the font "Bangers." We assume Google already knew this about you. Google knows everything. We are not responsible for what Google knows. Nobody is responsible for what Google knows. Google is a weather system at this point.
If you click the Apple Podcasts or Spotify links, those companies will know you clicked them. They probably already knew you were going to click them. This is the world we live in now.
External resources loaded: Google Fonts (fonts.googleapis.com). No other third-party scripts, trackers, or pixels are present on this site.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to listen to the podcast. You have the right to not listen to the podcast. You have the right to tell people about the podcast, or to keep it a secret, like a little audio treasure that only you know about. You have the right to remain silent, but if you do, that's kind of ironic given that this is a podcast website.
Under GDPR, CCPA, and various other acronyms, you have the right to request deletion of your personal data. Since we have none of your personal data, consider this request pre-fulfilled. You're welcome.
5. Children's Privacy
This website is not directed at children under 13. It is directed at people who enjoy podcasts with silly names. If you are a child under 13 and you are reading this privacy policy for fun, you are an extraordinary child and we respect your commitment to internet literacy, but please go play outside.
6. Data Breaches
In the event of a data breach, we will notify all affected users. Since we have no users and no data, this notification will consist of us standing in an empty field and saying "sorry" to no one. We have rehearsed this. We are ready.
7. Changes to This Policy
We reserve the right to update this privacy policy at any time, for any reason, including but not limited to: we learned a new word, we got bored, it's raining, or we suddenly started collecting data (we won't). Any changes will be posted on this page, which you will never check again. That's fine. We understand.
8. Contact
If you have questions about this privacy policy, you can yell them into the void. Alternatively, you can listen to the podcast. Neither of these will answer your questions, but at least one of them has background music.